9. If He Brings His Child Into His World, You Get Balance in Yours
The more he brings his child into his world, the more balance you get in your life. When mom gets more balance, dad gets more of mom, and balance in his life too. Everybody lives more happily ever after.
He Needs To Make His Fatherhood His Own
Once things settle down, he needs to chart his own path as a dad or he will get swept along by events and demands. He needs to bring his child into his world by introducing her to the things he enjoys, like sports, the outdoors or car shows (with her in a backpack), painting or music (they are naturals), or developing some new interests they can share – surfing lessons can start with splashing in the bathtub. If he makes fatherhood an adventure rather than a chore, he will give it his all and balance out the work demands he faces.
Dads tend to be creative and will come up with things like holding him and bouncing on an exercise ball when he is fussy or teach her a secret handshake. So bite your tongue when he puts him to sleep in his car seat mounted on an idling large block Chevy V8 engine (keep in mind that our research finds the low rumble mimics a mother’s heartbeat). He will be a legend among dads, and will have definitively made fatherhood his own.
His Baby Will Make Him a Better Man
His baby will provide him a new source of strength. Given the opportunity, his baby will grab hold of his heart, motivate him to do his best, and add dimensions to his life that he cannot imagine. Trust it will happen, encourage steps to help make it happen (like him giving her baths) and then enjoy it when you hear them giggling together or see them asleep with her on his chest.
Taking care of a sick baby through the night is not for wimps, and protecting and providing for a family can require a great deal of strength. Raising children brings out the best in men and spurs us to mature and excel as human beings. The pride and fulfillment we experience by doing this challenging job feeds our hearts and souls. We become men in the finest sense of the term.
How did having dad get up-to-speed (or not) affect your experience as a new mom?
blog comments powered by Disqus10 Things Moms-to-Be Should Know
About New Dads
Moms, check out this Top Ten list and let us know what you think. Share your experience about supporting a new dad, including what you did that worked and what you did that didn’t.
A mom-to-be has a huge array of support and information, including her mate, friends, family, the healthcare system, and entire media and retail sectors. A dad-to-be has you. … Read More
Mothers are the most important factor in a father’s involvement with his baby. You can facilitate it or hinder it, especially in the months surrounding the birth when a new dad’s motivation is strongest. ... Read More
If you back off on doing everything with the baby and expect him to do his part, he will. Encourage him to get out of the house with his baby on his own, giving them time to develop their very special relationship. ... Read More
Men thrive on respect, confidence and love, and all are in short supply as we become fathers. Focus on respect for what he does right. It will build his confidence and show you love him. ... Read More
Dads bring a unique set of strengths to raising kids and are the best brain development toys possible. Don’t turn dad into an assistant mom, encourage him to do it his way. Your baby will thrive on the difference. ... Read More
Having our babies get excited when they see us, and knowing we are there for them when they need us, feeds our souls as men. With experience, our confidence builds, our instincts kick in, and we start feeling like real dads. It just takes longer than with moms. ... Read More
It’s not about sex, it’s about love. New moms naturally and dramatically shift their attention, intimacy and love from dad to their baby. If mom is not happy with dad, your relationship can suffer dramatically. Even if you don’t feel like sex, he still needs to feel the love. ... Read More
OK, it is partly about sex, but if vacuuming alone resulted in more sex, we would be buying 500 horse power Dyson vacuums and supercharging them. Once life settles down with your new baby, focus on your relationship, and the sex will handle itself. ... Read More
The more he brings his child into his life, the more balance you get in your life. When mom gets more balance, dad gets more of mom, and balance in his life too. Everybody lives more happily ever after. ... Read More
Soon after you become pregnant, help him get a good start, because you soon will be overwhelmed with your own needs. Show him respect as a father-to-be with something that helps him along his path. ... Read More
Articles
Dad’s Protective Instincts Come from Caveman Roots
From Greg Bishop, Founder, Boot Camp for New Dads
As Cavemen, we dads developed a strong protective instinct (Saber-toothed cats were a real problem), as well as a nurturing instinct. We were hands-on with our babies 24/7 in our little caves (talk about co-sleeping), except when out after an extra big mammoth because we had another mouth to feed. And when we got back, no doubt the… Read On
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